No Shakes in the Wild

I know you’ve all experienced this. Walking into your favorite urban McDonald’s restaurant fantasizing about a delicious milkshake and being told that the machine is “broken.” It’s a heartbreaker, and after having lived in a nice neighborhood for a while I can confirm that it’s only a problem in the hood. I can go to my local McDonald’s which has **gasp** white employees and get a wide range of frozen beverage and dessert treats, from mango pineapple smoothies, to multi-flavor milkshakes to delicious iced and frozen coffee drinks. They make me very happy.

Everyone loves a happy black man

Well I went across town and tried to get one and of course the machine was “broken.” I was very upset. VERY.

VERY ANGRY. did someone really put this on a shirt?

Why aren’t these items ever available at McDonald’s in urban locations? I’m not calling out racism or a purposeful unequal distribution of milkshake-related infrastructure between franchises, because that’s stupid and doesn’t deserve a post.  But for a corporation that apparently loves Black People SO MUCH that they only make commercials for our demographic, they should put in more work to give us access to ALL of their food that kills us so quickly and efficiently. We fucking DESERVE it.

Damn…even without the editing that was kinda racist. Give me the chocolate shakes in addition to the delicious chicken sandwiches that we lean and rock in the club for.

WTF man.  What was I talking about again? Did they really just have black people in the club dancing for chicken? Did they miss out on the cultural sensitivity training I think they have to have? But oh yeah…milkshakes. I need that.

And fuck McDonald’s.

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Comments
One Response to “No Shakes in the Wild”
  1. O.K. Kai says:

    “Man yo, I’m lovin it”

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