Winner Winner Chicken Dinner (Unintentional Racism Files)

So there I was getting ready to heat up my customary leftover lunch meal at work today (in this case, roast beef and mashed potatoes). I walked into our little kitchen and popped my food in the microwave and turned around….and there I saw a plate of my FAVORITE chicken wings. Like you know the little mesquite drummettes from the supermarkets? Don’t judge me. Anyways, they had a sign by them that read “Take some.” Given that I was the only person in the kitchen and I wasn’t too partial to my roast beef I grabbed one and ate it. Bad move.

It was a setup. As soon as I finished it and was getting ready to throw it away, my rather hefty (think E. Honda) coworker snuck up on me. Blame my chicken bliss for putting me at unawares, but she clearly saw me throwing the chicken wing away. Turns out they were hers left over from a party and as she was trying to lose weight (ha) she brought them to work for us to have. She told me I could have a few, but I said I was fine with my lunch. AND HERE COMES THE UNINTENTIONAL RACISM

She uttered the seven-word phrase that has been the downfall of several office tokens before: “But I know you love fried chicken.” I KNEW it was coming. With my college being kind of hippie and everyone trying vegetarianism out there was no way she could have known for sure I loved fried chicken. But she did know. And I do love fried chicken. And I reaaaalllly wanted it. And I am disappointed to say that I ate one right there in front of her. The office token in me surely emanated an impassive calm but inside I was like:

Coon points to fivefifths. My inner black guy (we’ll call him Rashad) won today. What will tomorrow bring?

Rashad:1, fivefifths:0

3 Responses to “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner (Unintentional Racism Files)”
  1. alyse says:

    #DEAD. Slayed into the subfloor. This was f-ing hilarious. I’m proud to say that I am not a fan of fried chicken or wings…LoL

  2. xtina says:

    LMAO ohhh Rashad….

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  1. […] had a long and storied history writing about chicken. My co-author came down on one side of the issue. Then, again, FiveFifths tackled the nexus of Black America and fried bits of bird in yet another […]

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