My President is Black . . .and Santa Clause too?

We here at 40 acres and a cubicle pride ourselves on being Black. Every ethnicity has a certain amount of pride. Pride in traditions, a shared cultural heritage, family values, and music. If you look below you can see us enjoying being Black. In fact we like being Black so much, we started this blog in recognition of the fact that there is at least some common denominator that runs through our community binding us together. . . . apparently from the majority of our posts, that common bond is the silly somewhat racist things that are said to us on an almost daily basis.

Ok, so that’s not what we really look like. Anyways. Though cultural pride is prevalent in the black community, we all know that we as black people sometimes take things too far. We love Black so much that we want all the figures around us to have our features. This leads to some creative, but downright silly, occurrences. Hereafter highlights some ways in which we as Blacks have projected ourselves onto the world around us. Some are much better than others. I digress:

1. Black Santa

My future child is not coming anywhere NEAR this man's lap.

I personally do not need some fictional character, that has no practical importance beyond the suspension of reality for my children, to be Black. I’ll teach my children about the real people in history who were Black and contributed to this country and the world.

2. Black Jesus

Artist's recreation

The ethnicity of Jesus of Nazareth has been hotly contested through the ages. The way he is often depicted in popular media is that of a “white” man. Brown flowing hair, and brown eyes. You remember how Jim Caviezel looked in that violent Mel Gibson movie. Some Black folk, on the other hand, swear Jesus was a Black man. This is in part due the oft-quoted lines from the Book of Revelations: Hair of wool and skin of bronze. Black folk for generations have used this to determine that Our Lord and Savior was Black. But alas, this is a misquote. To begin with, the description of Jesus in Revelations, was from a vision that St. John the divine saw on the isle of Patmos. Much of the book is written in allegory and metaphor. The full quote from Revelations Chapter 1 verses 12-18 is “And His head and His hair were white like wool, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire; and His feet were like burnished bronze, when it had been caused to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters.” So we can see from the full quote in context that the “wool” to which the verse refers is describing the color and not the texture of his hair. The bronze color of his skin is describing the luminescence of his visage, and not a natural skin tone. The metaphors are even more apparent from the last phrase. How could the preceding description be literal and his voice literally sounds like “many waters?” I don’t know about you, but I see this as allegory. Divinely inspired visions and not necessarily what an eye witness would tell a sketch artists when describing a person.

3. Black President

That's a nice temp fade you got there Prez.

Now we all know there will never be a Black Presid. . . oh shit, wait. Ummm, yeah. Ok, so this one really is true. I guess Hollywood put enough Black Presidents in the media until America finally got the hint.

"This meteor is gonna kill ya'll. I got a bunker though, so I'm cool."

You get the point right?

Whether because of Kwanza-Clause scaring your children to death, believing that because Jesus wasn’t around his real father that this is proof positive of his Blackness, or wishful thinking on the part of Hollywood, we Blacks love to project our ethnicity onto the cultural icons of our society. But hey, we did it long enough with the President, maybe one day all the Santas in the nation really will in fact look like this dude:

"Ho, Ho, Ho little girl . . . "

That’s the day I move to Canada.

Continue to question the world around you.


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